Lord, That I May See

Every month brings its new experiences and challenges as a mother. This month brought some severe initiation into heretofore un-encountered and un-desirable adventures in Messes. Sitting in the Mud -- actually this one isn't new, but it never happened three times in one day before. Hand Soap in the Hair Soap up the Nose and Mouth (She was "shaving") Entire Clothes Drawers Dumping (OVER & OVER) Vomit in the Bed Diarrhea in the Bathtub Swimming pool on the Kitchen Floor Hazing, anyone?

There is a song that I sing with Turtle called "Thank You, Lord." We sing it frequently and she will joyfully and enthusiastically fill in the three blanks in the song with anything that she thinks of. Thank you Lord for giving us APPLESAUCE Thank you Lord for giving us DADDY Thank you Lord for giving us BATHS Right where we are. Alleluia, Praise the Lord Alleluia, Praise the Lord Alleluia, Praise the Lord Right where we are. Some other things that Turtle is thankful for: Nana and Pop-pop Bottoms (you know, the ones that you sit on . . . !) Toes Jesus' house Hot Dogs Cookies Peachy Bear Trains Tights Purple Orange Green Tigers Monkeys Pull-ups Books Dear Lord, help make me thankful for things like Turtle -- slides and socks and elephants and cranberries! You are such a good God for giving us such a wealth of wonderful, joyful things to say thank you for!

Daughter, in 2008 Mother, in 1985

The pre-marriage Easter, to me, meant -- candlelight and shadows at the Easter vigil -- clean souls -- glorious music -- joyful silence in the pew after Mass to think and pray -- the fragrance of lilies in the Church -- beautiful dresses all day -- ham and eggs and sweet bread at quiet, small family brunches --Easter basket hunts, the baskets filled with things like books and new shirts, but not much sweets The real Easter, to me, now, married with two kids --no more Easter vigil -- a soul that's last cleansing was two or three weeks ago and at least it wasn't two or three months. (And did I mention that I had to ask Father to repeat the penance because Rosebud was crying too loud for me to hear it? And did I even say my penance?) -- still the glorious music! -- the last pew in the Church, so far back that we can barely hear or see, and we can't smell the lilies -- fragmented harried prayers of "Please help the baby sleep," "Please, Turtle don't pull Mo...

Enough! the Resurrection, A heart's clarion! Away grief's gasping joyless days, dejection. Across my foundering deck shone A beacon, an eternal beam. Flesh fade, and mortal trash Fall to the residuary worm; world's wildfire, leave but ash: In a flash, at a trumpet crash, I am all at once what Christ is, since he was what I am, and This Jack, joke, poor potsherd, patch, matchwood, immortal diamond, Is immortal diamond. ~ Fr. Gerard Manley Hopkins, S. J.

Growing up, my family always said our Stations of the Cross at home, rather than going to church as many families do. We had a beautiful 14-candled holder that my mother had made of wood and for every station that we passed, we extinguished a candle. At the twelfth station we put out all the remaining three, bringing darkness into the room that throughout the prayers, had been lit only by candlelight. To this day, I prefer the quiet of home for such a sacred and somber devotion. This year we have a 8pm Friday Holy Hour commitment and so my husband and I have not been able to say the Stations together this Lent. Every other week I have made of the Way of the Cross at home, with 14 lighted candles, and the other weeks I walked it in the quiet of the Adoration chapel. I love to say the Stations alone. I think that the sensory experience of the light and darkness, the flickering shadows, the hushed prayers of so many childhood Lenten Fridays, have given me a love for the opport...

In her writing Maria Montessori speaks very strongly of the importance of Reality in the growth and education of the young child. Silvia Dubovoy, an AMI trainer and directress, wrote this paper http://www.montessori-ami.org/congress/2005Sydney/papersd.htm on the importance of reality and the great harm that current day preoccupation with fantasy for children can do to their developing brains. In this paper she writes that "an education based on reality prepares the child to perceive his environment in a precise and accurate manner," and "the assimilation of reality constructs an internal structure based on order." The child, aged birth to six years, "is constructing his personality and his post-natal embryonic state, and knowledge about the world is necessary to adapt to his own time, culture, and family." Thus, a core Montessori principle: No exposure to fantasy till after age six. No Disney, no pink stuffed teddy bears, no Bernstein Bears, or Curious Ge...

Not only a mom! I actually listened to Counting Crows while doing the dishes tonight. I think I'd forgotten that I even liked them . . . My "playlist" these days is "Kookaburra sits in the old gum tree," "The fox went out on a chilly night," and "Do you know the muffin man?" and on occasion Mozart or Strauss. Tonight my old self stirred and half-woke. Maybe I can wake it all the way up if I make this a habit. I'll call it "The Dish-Music Therapy" . . . . or something like that . . . G'night!