Relentless Gratitude

I read this phrase, "relentless gratitude" on an Instagram caption a while ago.  The writer spoke of using relentless gratitude to combat the feelings of envy or discontent that arise.  That pairing of words struck me, struggling as I am sometimes with getting through the day intact.

Relentless.  Sometimes life feels that way, throwing you curve after curve and piling up things to trip you until it feels like your path is gone harder than you think you can manage.  My mom used to say to me, half in jest, "I'm a wimp, and God knows it so he can't give me the really hard stuff because I'm so wimpy."  And I would laugh, and hope God recognized my wimpiness too.  So far, we hasn't given me the really hard stuff.  He has treated me gently.  Sometimes though, a lot of small stuff can add up to what feels big and, complainer that I am, I let him know it is really too heavy. 

But, I have to be relentless too.  Gratitude always.  And then again.  Because someone wants to whisper to my struggling heart that there will not be enough for you, that this life right now isn't what you wanted and so, how can this God be a good one? How can you stay with one who gives hard things?  But, I call myself back with determination out of the discouragement, the self pity, the wimpiness, and claim, No! He gives "blessings without number and mercies without end."  This I know.
In her book, One Thousand Gifts Ann Voskamp speaks of thanksgiving as exposing the lie at the heart of all fear, the lie that He is finite, that there isn't going to be enough.  And if we are endlessly counting gifts, living the fullest life in thanksgiving, we will no longer be able to believe the lie that He isn't caring for us at every moment, giving us abundant life, pressed down and overflowing.

"Whenever we offer thanks, God comes closer to us . . . Every thank you like the leper's, increases our wonder at Mercy-come-down-to-claim-us."   --P.J. Cameron, Magnificat 

Come closer to me, God.  Increase my wonder. Thank you for caring for me today.  I know that you will care for me tomorrow.