Happy Mother's Day

I've switched my seating location in our car.  Turtle can't handle the stress of sitting next to the poor boy who often screams so hard in the car that he seems like he might pass out.

My poor guy has colic and it's been really hard. I cry sometimes just because he is crying so much and I can't help him. It seems actually that often I am doing just the opposite as it is always nursing that starts up his cycle of gas and pain, writhing and screaming.  I'm trying not to go the route of blaming myself, as I know that isn't fair or true.  I just get so sad seeing his sisters confused and sad that he doesn't want them to hold him and that he cries all the time, even when they are showing him their pictures and toys. It's really, really hard, but I know that it will pass. Nothing is forever. 

I have given up dairy and eggs and, as of today, gluten too. It doesn't seem to be helping completely but I keep doing it and giving him herbs, homeopathics and probiotics interchangeably hoping that they will help at collectively to get him all the way better.  I am cautiously hopeful as he is definitely better than he was at the beginning of this week.  Today he actually slept in his bed for 3 hours giving me a Mothers Day nap! Small pleasures!

Happy Mother's Day to all of you who are mothers!  This job we do is really hard and the most rewarding and blessed at the same time.  

It's really true.  All the time we are blessed abundantly. I am gritting my teeth and practicing my gratefulness in a big way as I look bleary-eyed with exhaustion at his little pained face, my back aching with holding the dear boy, and say to God:  I thank you for all of this. "I praise you in this storm." Your will is perfect and good, all the time.