It's That Time Again
Rosebud's really interested in the bathroom and everything that goes on within.
She wants to be present any time someone is in there.
She likes to look into the toilet when Turtle's using it and say "poo? poo?"
She likes to flush it over and over.
She likes to see her diapers, asking "poo?" again.
She wants to hold a wipe to clean herself.
She loves to sit herself down fully clothed on the little potty chair.
When I occasionally let her sit between diaper changes, she's thrilled with standing up and sitting down, feeling her bare-ness and reading books.
*Sigh.*
I think it's time for Rosebud's potty training (or "toilet learning" if you don't mind me "going all Montessori on you", as my husband always groans at me. :)
People think I'm crazy.
Sometimes I think I'm crazy.
Sometimes this whole "raise my kids the Montessori way" endeavour seems to really be about "raising my kids the hardest way I can find"!
The authors of Montessori From the Start write: "The child's Sensitive Period of interest in toileting occurs between twelve and eighteen months of age. [Rosebud is 15 mos.]Your child indicates this interest in obvious or in more subtle ways. It is important to keep in mind that like all Sensitive Periods this interest is a temporary phenomenon. If it is missed, learning to use the toilet becomes a remedial endeavor. Unfortunately, as in other areas of the child's developing capacities, the child is often ready for the adult's help in toileting before the adult is prepared to give it."*
That last line is the key one for me. The Montessori philosophy and way of raising children is hard because it usually isn't the most convenient, or the path of least resistance. It's easier to keep children in diapers till they are 4 and will "train themselves." It's easier to use playpens and exersaucers. It's easier to feed babies and toddlers confined in a high chair. ( Though I do plead guilty to that last one -- I've found that I have my limits! :) But "Montessori parenting" isn't about doing what is the least amount of work for you, or what keeps the kids out of trouble (I have to tell myself this all the time!) -- its about providing the freedom for the child to develop at his or her own pace, unhampered by your time tables. It's about observing and watching and then empowering them to do what they are already capable of doing if given the chance.
Montessori From the Start also says, "Learning to control the bowels and bladder is the first accommodation that is asked of the child by her society. As such, it involves an understanding and acceptance of the expectations of the civilization into which she is born. Second, this is an accommodation to her society that requires knowledge, as well as conscious effort and willing cooperation on the child's part. It is not a feat that the child is able to accomplish on her own. She must have the focused attention of the adults around her. As a result, it is the child's first major experience in collaboration with a an adult for an educational purpose. It is clear, then, that toilet awareness is more than a matter of "dry pants" for the child. . . . . The goal is not dry pants but a child who feels appropriately in control of herself and her life. Let her be as independent as possible."*
These words, and this article coupled with the book Diaper Free Before Three are about to be re-read in this house now and are giving me much needed motivation to do this whole thing again! I'm planning that in about a month, when the weather is a bit warmer and she can walk around without pants over her underwear, Rosebud and I are going to embark on this whole Montessori crazy potty training thing again. :) I hope we can do this!
Once I said I never wanted to do this little toddler potty training again. It's so. much. work! And cleaning, and laundry, and vigilance. It's annoying to be tied to your house for weeks, cart around 1-2 changes of clothes, socks, underwear, maybe even shoes plus a little "car potty" AND a foldable toilet seat for public bathrooms.
With Turtle it was a whole LONG month till it "clicked" (at 18 mos) and she could stay dry, 6 more months (at 2 yrs)until she would actually tell me that she needed to go, and 4-6 more (2.5 yrs) until she was dry at nap and bedtime. It's a long saga.
But I remember how proud of her I was. I remember how proud of herself she was. And I especially remember how proud her daddy was of her -- more than either of us, I bet! (And I think this is part of the reason she is such a confident child -- something I am glad to see in her!)
And maybe Rosebud's not ready. That would be just fine with me too! But just in case she really might be ready and able, this Montessori believer's job is to give her the space and the freedom to try it for herself and see.
* Emphasis mine
She wants to be present any time someone is in there.
She likes to look into the toilet when Turtle's using it and say "poo? poo?"
She likes to flush it over and over.
She likes to see her diapers, asking "poo?" again.
She wants to hold a wipe to clean herself.
She loves to sit herself down fully clothed on the little potty chair.
When I occasionally let her sit between diaper changes, she's thrilled with standing up and sitting down, feeling her bare-ness and reading books.
*Sigh.*
I think it's time for Rosebud's potty training (or "toilet learning" if you don't mind me "going all Montessori on you", as my husband always groans at me. :)
People think I'm crazy.
Sometimes I think I'm crazy.
Sometimes this whole "raise my kids the Montessori way" endeavour seems to really be about "raising my kids the hardest way I can find"!
The authors of Montessori From the Start write: "The child's Sensitive Period of interest in toileting occurs between twelve and eighteen months of age. [Rosebud is 15 mos.]Your child indicates this interest in obvious or in more subtle ways. It is important to keep in mind that like all Sensitive Periods this interest is a temporary phenomenon. If it is missed, learning to use the toilet becomes a remedial endeavor. Unfortunately, as in other areas of the child's developing capacities, the child is often ready for the adult's help in toileting before the adult is prepared to give it."*
That last line is the key one for me. The Montessori philosophy and way of raising children is hard because it usually isn't the most convenient, or the path of least resistance. It's easier to keep children in diapers till they are 4 and will "train themselves." It's easier to use playpens and exersaucers. It's easier to feed babies and toddlers confined in a high chair. ( Though I do plead guilty to that last one -- I've found that I have my limits! :) But "Montessori parenting" isn't about doing what is the least amount of work for you, or what keeps the kids out of trouble (I have to tell myself this all the time!) -- its about providing the freedom for the child to develop at his or her own pace, unhampered by your time tables. It's about observing and watching and then empowering them to do what they are already capable of doing if given the chance.
Montessori From the Start also says, "Learning to control the bowels and bladder is the first accommodation that is asked of the child by her society. As such, it involves an understanding and acceptance of the expectations of the civilization into which she is born. Second, this is an accommodation to her society that requires knowledge, as well as conscious effort and willing cooperation on the child's part. It is not a feat that the child is able to accomplish on her own. She must have the focused attention of the adults around her. As a result, it is the child's first major experience in collaboration with a an adult for an educational purpose. It is clear, then, that toilet awareness is more than a matter of "dry pants" for the child. . . . . The goal is not dry pants but a child who feels appropriately in control of herself and her life. Let her be as independent as possible."*
These words, and this article coupled with the book Diaper Free Before Three are about to be re-read in this house now and are giving me much needed motivation to do this whole thing again! I'm planning that in about a month, when the weather is a bit warmer and she can walk around without pants over her underwear, Rosebud and I are going to embark on this whole Montessori crazy potty training thing again. :) I hope we can do this!
Once I said I never wanted to do this little toddler potty training again. It's so. much. work! And cleaning, and laundry, and vigilance. It's annoying to be tied to your house for weeks, cart around 1-2 changes of clothes, socks, underwear, maybe even shoes plus a little "car potty" AND a foldable toilet seat for public bathrooms.
With Turtle it was a whole LONG month till it "clicked" (at 18 mos) and she could stay dry, 6 more months (at 2 yrs)until she would actually tell me that she needed to go, and 4-6 more (2.5 yrs) until she was dry at nap and bedtime. It's a long saga.
But I remember how proud of her I was. I remember how proud of herself she was. And I especially remember how proud her daddy was of her -- more than either of us, I bet! (And I think this is part of the reason she is such a confident child -- something I am glad to see in her!)
And maybe Rosebud's not ready. That would be just fine with me too! But just in case she really might be ready and able, this Montessori believer's job is to give her the space and the freedom to try it for herself and see.
* Emphasis mine
Comments
But it would be awesome to only have 1 in diapers! :)
And we totally should do it "together" :)
H -- I LOVE the pic of the girls in the bathroom too -- complete with T's easter hat and Rosebud's "necklace" :)
Thanks Jessica! It'll be here quicker than you can believe -- wasn't it yesterday he was born??