First Testing
Turtle's crying, pulling at her tongue.
I'm frustrated, it's late and little girls should be in bed, but she keeps coming out of her room.
"It's scratchy, Mommy! My tongue is scratchy. The pineapple made it scratchy."
The crying goes on. Water doesn't help. Kisses don't help. Lotion around her mouth doesn't help (psychologically lotion helps many things for Turtle).
It's been a long, lonely day. Daddy is gone. Patience is gone. Finally, I snap at her, ''Mommy can't fix it, okay? Mommy can't! Mommy can't fix everything! Ask Jesus to fix it."
She looks at me, skeptically and sullenly. "Jesus can't fix it, Mommy," she says, positive and know-it-all.
I look at her, aghast and at a loss for words.
"Jesus can," I manage. "Jesus will."
"Jesus can't"
"Yes, He can."
"No, He can't"
"Just ask Him! Ask Jesus to make your scratchy tongue all better, okay?"
We pray together, Jesus make Turtle's scratchy tongue stop hurting, please. Make her all better.
In the dark, as I murmur these words, I realize that in my unbelief I don't really think He will. What's a scratchy tongue anyway? And besides, Jesus has a track record with me of never instanteously taking away my asthma growing up, my painful stomach ulcers all those years of college or other pains and sicknesses in my life when I ask Him. Jesus doesn't work that way. He doesn't cure random little nuisances just because you ask. You're supposed to say "Yes" to those kind of things.
But she's a child. Yes, I'm a jaded adult with trust issues and a need to learn acceptance. But Turtle is a child. And, to my knowledge this is the first prayer that she has ever prayed that has asked Jesus for something. Her prayers are prayers of thanksgiving and praise. Now, tonight, she's asking for something that she doesn't believe He'll give her.
And so I plead silently with Him, "Make her better, Lord! Grant her this first request. How can you not give a child their first need? Don't you want her to believe that You can answer her prayers? Would you want to start off the years of her relationship with You by not taking away something as silly and simple as a scratchy tongue?"
Suddenly this request is of burning importance to me too. If the words of her mother, my assurances that Jesus can do this don't convince her, than who can she believe but God Himself?
The night was a rough one. Turtle was sick many times during the night. Jesus wasn't making her better, it seemed.
But, when morning came, Turtle came into our room with her sleepy morning hair and cried, "Mommy, my tongue is all better! Jesus made me all better!" She was excited and happy and smiling.
I felt a warmth in my heart, the warmth of deep gratitude. "Say thank you to Jesus! Say thank you Him for making you all better!"
"Okay, I will!" She turned and ran back to her room. She was bursting to thank Him!
I lay in the warmth of the comforters and heard her sweet little voice talking to the picture of the Good Shepherd over her bed. "Thank you Jesus! You made me all better! Thank you for making me all better. I like it!"
She turned to go, then hesitated and went back. "I'll give you a kiss," she said. And she did.
Yes, the night had been hard for Turtle. He hadn't made her better right away. And, we didn't know it yet, but the coming day would be long and rough as well. She would be sick some more. But in that moment, her tongue was better, she felt better and she was filled with joyful gratitude and confidence.
And I? I was thankful for the lovingly-answered prayer of a mother and daughter. And, I prayed for the grace to take these lessons from a little child to heart -- the lesson of unadulterated gratitude in the moment of an answered prayer, and the lesson of confidence that God answers "silly" little prayers too, in His own time.
I'm frustrated, it's late and little girls should be in bed, but she keeps coming out of her room.
"It's scratchy, Mommy! My tongue is scratchy. The pineapple made it scratchy."
The crying goes on. Water doesn't help. Kisses don't help. Lotion around her mouth doesn't help (psychologically lotion helps many things for Turtle).
It's been a long, lonely day. Daddy is gone. Patience is gone. Finally, I snap at her, ''Mommy can't fix it, okay? Mommy can't! Mommy can't fix everything! Ask Jesus to fix it."
She looks at me, skeptically and sullenly. "Jesus can't fix it, Mommy," she says, positive and know-it-all.
I look at her, aghast and at a loss for words.
"Jesus can," I manage. "Jesus will."
"Jesus can't"
"Yes, He can."
"No, He can't"
"Just ask Him! Ask Jesus to make your scratchy tongue all better, okay?"
We pray together, Jesus make Turtle's scratchy tongue stop hurting, please. Make her all better.
In the dark, as I murmur these words, I realize that in my unbelief I don't really think He will. What's a scratchy tongue anyway? And besides, Jesus has a track record with me of never instanteously taking away my asthma growing up, my painful stomach ulcers all those years of college or other pains and sicknesses in my life when I ask Him. Jesus doesn't work that way. He doesn't cure random little nuisances just because you ask. You're supposed to say "Yes" to those kind of things.
But she's a child. Yes, I'm a jaded adult with trust issues and a need to learn acceptance. But Turtle is a child. And, to my knowledge this is the first prayer that she has ever prayed that has asked Jesus for something. Her prayers are prayers of thanksgiving and praise. Now, tonight, she's asking for something that she doesn't believe He'll give her.
And so I plead silently with Him, "Make her better, Lord! Grant her this first request. How can you not give a child their first need? Don't you want her to believe that You can answer her prayers? Would you want to start off the years of her relationship with You by not taking away something as silly and simple as a scratchy tongue?"
Suddenly this request is of burning importance to me too. If the words of her mother, my assurances that Jesus can do this don't convince her, than who can she believe but God Himself?
The night was a rough one. Turtle was sick many times during the night. Jesus wasn't making her better, it seemed.
But, when morning came, Turtle came into our room with her sleepy morning hair and cried, "Mommy, my tongue is all better! Jesus made me all better!" She was excited and happy and smiling.
I felt a warmth in my heart, the warmth of deep gratitude. "Say thank you to Jesus! Say thank you Him for making you all better!"
"Okay, I will!" She turned and ran back to her room. She was bursting to thank Him!
I lay in the warmth of the comforters and heard her sweet little voice talking to the picture of the Good Shepherd over her bed. "Thank you Jesus! You made me all better! Thank you for making me all better. I like it!"
She turned to go, then hesitated and went back. "I'll give you a kiss," she said. And she did.
Yes, the night had been hard for Turtle. He hadn't made her better right away. And, we didn't know it yet, but the coming day would be long and rough as well. She would be sick some more. But in that moment, her tongue was better, she felt better and she was filled with joyful gratitude and confidence.
And I? I was thankful for the lovingly-answered prayer of a mother and daughter. And, I prayed for the grace to take these lessons from a little child to heart -- the lesson of unadulterated gratitude in the moment of an answered prayer, and the lesson of confidence that God answers "silly" little prayers too, in His own time.
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