A New Season

A mother's life is made of many seasons -- big and little.
Some are more pronounced -- a season of pregnancy, or a new baby, for example. Others are less obvious to the world outside one's little home, but there can still be an upheaval in the rhythm of living when one stage of a child's little life, and thus his mother's as well, ends and another begins. Just when the mother thinks that she has finally become accustomed to and comfortable with the stage that her family is in, things change -- sometimes gradually, but often suddenly -- and a whole new family rhythm is born full of different challenges and different joys.

A few weeks ago, Rosebud quit her morning nap. A simple thing, right? Something all babies do eventually. She's growing and needs less sleep and more exploring time. But what a change for us!

The first day that I didn't lay her down in the morning was rough. The morning dragged on and on as girls squabbled and fought and cried over every toy, the baby threw things around everywhere just to aggravate the toddler, the toddler's loud requests of "Don't touch my work!" turned into shoving and screaming and repeated queries of "Why's she not goin' nappy, Mommy??" The breakfast remains still littered the kitchen at midday and the laundry never even made it from the bedrooms to the laundry room. No one could've walked through our house without stepping on scattered train tracks, dozens of books, balls, blocks, animals and dolls. It was too cold to venture outside, which would have separated the two a little and hence stopped the insanity for a little while.

I found myself frustrated, missing so much for what the mornings used to be -- a quieter house from 9:30-11am, a chance to tidy up after the Rosebud Rampage, balance the checkbook, menu plan, do laundry or get a shower while Turtle watched a movie, a time for Turtle to be able to do focused, uninterrupted and un-destroyed work with marbles or beads or buttons, any of the little things that she loves that babies can't have. Ever since Rosebud was a few months old, Mommy and Turtle have reliably had this time to work and cuddle together, to have one-on-one time, to do a Catechesis presentation (recently the infancy narratives with our breakable Nativity set), to bake or make egg salad for lunch or go outside together. . . .

It was easy to be frustrated at first. I was. I know Turtle was.

But even when you're sure you'll never adjust to this new element of life, this new challenge that's throwing you for a loop, you do! You really truly always do.

It's taking us a little while. I'm adjusting to rising before the girls to shower, to more fight- mitigation and a louder, messier house, to not getting as much done, to searching for one-on-one with each girl in heretofore untried moments, to trying to include Rosebud in activities or just putting some on hold till she's a couple months older. Turtle is adjusting (not with good grace at present, but hopefully soon) to less "Mommy-time," less movies, more sister time, more sharing, more patience. :)

And this is all good, of course. The girls are learning to play and work together, to share, to communicate. Now we can do more together earlier in the mornings -- the library, the store, the park in the spring -- instead of leaving the house for errands always in the thick of lunch and hungry-and-crabby-children-time. :)

And Mommy . . . well she is learning that she always fails to appreciate the wonderful parts of the previous stage when she is in it, now that she is missing them in the new. :) It's a good lesson in enjoying the present.

The grass is rarely greener than where you are right now.

Welcome, new season! Let's see what you have to bring us!