A tyrant in my house?

What I am no longer allowed to do (according to a certain someone who I suspect may be a dictator in a very cute disguise):

Dry my hair with the blowdryer -- too scary
Look at a hymnal in Mass all to myself and on the correct page -- too stingy
Wear a necklace -- too envy-inducing
Sit on the little chairs in the kitchen -- too violating-of-personal-property-rights
Apply stretch mark cream -- too . . . I-don't-know-what?
Drink or eat anything that I am not prepared to share at least half of -- too tantalizing
Wear sunglasses when I drive (or anytime!) -- too maddening!
Shower with the curtain closed -- too private
Drive past the park or the library and not stop -- too tragic
Go out just to the drive-thru at the bank and then go home and never get out of the car -- too infuriating
Get the mail out of the mailbox on my own -- too annoying

I have very strict rules that I must follow in this house.

Pardon me, my mistress is calling.

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ETA:
The Reprise of the Tyrant